Be Here Then

why and how to write & create an ethical will, hospice card, or other legacy

Archive for the tag “hospice cards”

Here’s a lovely card for someone in hospice care, and about “hope”

Here is a card appropriate for someone in hospice care, IF you pay attention to the word “hope,” that might appeal to those who love floral images.  You, too, might enjoy Brent Davis’s other work.

The text on the front of the card mentions “hope” and “love” and when you are sending a card to someone in hospice care, it is good to remember that hospice care ideally is for those who are no longer trying every last possible way to stay alive — rather, they are trying to LIVE as well as possible the time left to them.

So “hope” could be misconstrued here as wishing them hope for cure, or remission, or something other than what hospice care is.  I might send this card to someone I knew who loved flowers, and inside — depending on the relationship, of course — I would write something about that hope.

Some possibilities:

With all our love, and with the hope of reconnecting on the other side.

With love for you, and love and hope for your family, whom we will support with all our hearts.

I hope you know how much you mean to me, and I love you now and always will.

You and I have shared our hopes and love for many years, and that has been a beautiful part of my life.  You are cherished, and always will be.

You have been the very definition of friendship.  Just as I hope those you love who have gone before you will be waiting to greet you, I hope you will be there to greet me when it is my turn to follow.  See you down the road, my friend.  With all my love . . .

You get the idea.  Check out the photograph, and maybe you will find something on that site you like even more, for a hospice card.


Bhagavad Gita and words for hospice cards

There are many sources of inspiration and guidance for our spiritual, moral, and emotional lives, and ethical wills and other legacy letters frequently draw on those sources for their content. We can draw on those sources as well for a hospice card or note we want to send to someone we care for who is in hospice care.

“Arjuna, I am the taste of pure water and

the radiance of the sun and moon.  I am

the sacred word and the sound heard in air and

the courage of human beings. I am Read more…

Easiest “card” to send to someone in hospice care

Continuing on with the theme of hospice cards, an old interest of mine resurrected by the current patient advocacy of Regina Holliday, here is a simple way to let someone you know in hospice care that you are thinking of them.

For this idea, here’s what you need:

1. A computer with a camera attached (either built-in or plugged-in accessory)*[*you should know your software/camera capabilities: some snapshots will show the writing reversed, some won’t, so do a test first if you don’t know!]

2. An internet connection

3. A piece of paper, say about 8.5 x 11″ big. Your choice plain or fancified…

4. A pen, pencil, Sharpie, crayon — you want a thick line so the words are easily legible. Read more…

More examples for your own hospice card ideas

As promised in the first post on the hospice card theme on the 24th, here are a few more ideas of what I might like to hear from among my very varied friends (and consider writing your own legacy letter or ethical will, as well.)

orangeflowerBHT“My dear friend! It wasn’t supposed to be like this, was it? Never in a million years did we think we wouldn’t get to be old folks together, rocking out and scandalizing the neighborhood! Now who will I be misbehaving with? I love you! You have always, always made me laugh, and I am so very grateful for you in my life. I’m sending you a huge hug and here’s a picture of our first bloom of that flower you love so much.” Read more…

Hospice “cards:” remember the person’s sensory abilities

And another post in the hospice cards theme although I think the idea can also apply to your ethical will.  I have a friend who lost her vision some time ago.  But long before that, we had a fun, crazy time shortly after college that involved letters back and forth and Tillie Olsen‘s book Tell Me a Riddle.  Every few years, we’ll remember the silliness we wrote back and forth, and still crack up.

If this dear friend were in hospice care, I would not send her a card. Read more…

Show your face: here’s one way to make your own hospice cards

To continue the previous post’s theme of hospice cards, despite our typical focus on ethical wills, here is one idea for how to easily make your own card to give or send someone you love who is in hospice care:

This one is based on the premise that I think being surrounded by photographs of the people I love and the places I love would be heartwarming. If you can’t be there visiting, I might still like to look at you and smile.

jackson for hospice card(You could even send me a picture you took of my dog that day you reminded me that lake water doesn’t move, like tidal water does!)

So here are two simple versions: Read more…

End-of-Life Issues and Hospice Cards

While a main focus of Be Here Then has been ethical wills, it also concerns itself with end of life issues. This includes hospice, that service of helping patients live as fully and as well as they are able when cure is no longer an option, or is no longer sought. When someone is knowingly facing their ending days, it becomes difficult for many of us to know what to say, or to do. Frankly, it scares a lot of us.

We have few, if any, models for how to relate. Regina Holliday has become another patient care advocate, and started a petition to ask Hallmark to start a line of hospice cards. I have signed her petition, and I encourage you to visit her blog and read her story.  But that’s not all —

I confess a wee part of me is a bit dismayed, because one of my plans was to introduce exactly that: a line of “greeting” cards that might be usable for friends in hospice care. Of course, as John Lennon sang, life is what happens when we’re busy making other plans, and the cards idea had to be back-burnered.

But we don’t have to wait for a greeting card company to help make this conversation.  Why don’t we start, ourselves — by imagining what kinds of things we might want to have written in a card to us, as a way to help figure out what to say to someone we love who is now in hospice care.

What follows are a few examples of what I’d love to read from a few of my friends, and one example of what I would write to one of mine. Read more…

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